I have hard days. Heck, we all do when raising little defiant people. And most days, when my husband calls on his way home to work, I am balancing my phone on my shoulder, Jael is standing two inches from the television despite my repeated pleas to back up, Elijah’s little baby hands are wrapped around one [or both] of my legs and he’s screaming. I am trying to coordinate the different steps of the meal, and I am rattling off the “hard day stats” to my husband as he sympathetically mmmhmms and oh nos.
Jael pushed Elijah and he ran face first into the wall. I am just so tired of her bullying him!
Elijah was exercising his “NO” muscle today.
Jael got into the markers again and drew on the floor.
Elijah won’t stop climbing on the coffee table.
Yes, I yelled at them. No, I am not proud of it.
And try as hard as I might to make today different, it happens every day. Same time. Same channel. And most of the time, even though I am complaining about how the kids behaved, in my heart, I am ashamed. I am feeling horrible about how I reacted. And the next morning, in the faint dawn hours when I manage to get up before the munchkins, I pray and plead that the Lord changes me. Makes me a better mom. Makes me more patient. More loving. More cuddly. More kind. More….
And then I saw this video.
And it reminded me that I am good enough. That we all have days that are hard. And sometimes we have long seasons of days strung together with time outs, tantrums, yelling, and tears. We often focus so much on our parenting energy on what we’re not doing rather than what we are. And I bet you if someone asked your child what they thought of you, I bet they’d say you’re pretty awesome. Because you are. So take a deep breath, mama. Give yourself a pat on the back. And while you’re at it, a piece of chocolate while you’ve locked yourself in the dark laundry room for 90 seconds. Fuel up and back into the battlefield. I see you. High five. xo