There is this AMAZING giveaway that I want to win. Its weird wanting to promote yourself to win something. At first, when I started writing why I should be “Queen for a Day,” I felt like it sounded like one big sob story. I am a tired mom. Most can see that. Heck, if you read my blog at all, you’d know that. [Case in point, my two year old who just ate MY lunch and a snack is asking me for food. ;) ] And when I think about why I want to be Queen for a Day, I think most reasons are the same as anyone else:
- I need a break.
- I barely shop for myself [my too tall for 2T two-year-old is growing like a weed and my 6-month-old linebacker is already over 20 pounds and seems to have a growth spurt weekly! lol].
- I reheat my coffee/lunch/dinner/etc. several times because I can never consume anything at the proper temperature with kids around. ;)
- I’m still in pjs at 1:30pm and am on day three of no shower.
- And who doesn’t love Southern California??
Some reasons I have, people may not be experiencing:
- I recently had two family members pass away within a week of one another [who seemed to be recovering and then just took turns for the worse].
- My son is a high-needs kid who barely sleeps, who is up a lot at night [4-6 times].
But that’s not the biggest reason I would say why I should win. Its been a weird few months for me. Battling some post-partum depression in secret, wondering who I am, feeling so very lost. It wasn’t until recently that I came to the realization that I truly do need a break, but not in the mommy-sense per se. I mean, yes, what mom doesn’t need a break?
But I need to win this because its something for me. Every day I do everything for everyone else. And I’ve lost who I am. And when you heap on top of that the grief of loss, life seems to come to a complete standstill while everything whips around you. Who am I? What do I like? What is my style? or personality? Sometimes I feel like its completely buried and I’ll never know. And I’ve cried over it and wondered if I will ever emerge out of these thick weeds and see life again.
I have asked my husband so many times lately, “Is this something I would wear?” “When you describe me, would you say *xxx* about me?” And that hurts. Feeling like you don’t know yourself is hard. I used to feel like I knew who I was. And I often mourn that former self and wonder who I have become. All I know right now is that I love my kids, my husband, and my church. But I often feel like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride!! I don’t know what I like because I am always concerned about what others’ like/need.
This opportunity would be perfect for me. Since I live in Phoenix, AZ, this would give me a trip away for myself. I would be able to take a nice long drive to Southern California, be pampered to feel beautiful, and receive. To feel like myself again. To refresh and recharge. To take a moment away from boogers and diapers and snacks and Dora the Explorer and be Erin. To unbury myself and discover myself again. To feel fresh. To emerge from the weeds and find that I was just a wandering flower. To discover my beauty again so that I can continue to pour life into my kids and family.
Thank you to the Queen Bee Market for this opportunity to win!