A Loser with Hope

I am going through a program with my church that I am super excited about. Its called Surge and it is an intense discipleship program offered here in Phoenix. Its kind of like a college course with tons of reading, is 9 months long, and consists of weekly meetings and quarterly 2-night “intensives” (lectures). It sounds boring, but it is amazing so far. Last night I went to the first night of the first intensive and walked away in awe.

And after this lecture that talked about the Story of God and how we are not just referring back to “religious literature” but are a part of an eternal story that began with creation, climaxed with Jesus Christ coming to save us, and ends in a new earth where we will live eternally with our Father, I was feeling like a loser and full of hope at the same time.

Do you ever feel like that? Like after all Jesus did for us and how much the Lord passionately loves us is somehow not influential to how we choose to live our lives … it makes that all look like no big deal. That if we truly knew the implications and truth to the God-Story that we are a part of, we would be radically and completely changed. And for that, I feel like a loser. I give in to temptations, sin daily, try to do it all on my own…

And yet, just around the corner is the intense overflowing hope that the Lord gives us…hope that is based in the saving sacrifice of Jesus Christ that propels us to change and following the Lord. The hope that this life full of hurt, struggle, and frustrations will soon be redeemed by the return of our Savior.

I guess I just wanted to share that. I will be the very first to admit that I mess up. I screw up daily. Hourly. By the minute. I am wretchedly evil and desperately neeeeeeeed Jesus. And I find overwhelming joy in the fact that He knows that and still loves me. That He promises that He will never leave. That He will take care of me. Despite how we act. Despite how we mess up.

And for that today, I am SO very grateful. :)


  1. says

    I love that C.S. Lewis quote! What an awesome opportunity at your church…any opportunity to be reminded of how everything but knowing Christ is “rubbish” is an opportunity worth taking!!