Forging Forward


The new year always brings the feeling of a fresh start. Everyone all over social media posts about their resolutions, feelings for the new year, sentiment for leaving the last behind, and everyone takes a much needed deep breath as the clock folds over like the cover of a fresh new journal that has 365 blank pages to fill.

I like the new year. Even though I’m not much for specific and strict resolutions, I tend to make some decisions to determine my heart for the upcoming year. It feels fresh, new, bright. However, right now, as I sit in my messy, kid-bombed living room, sniffling and trying to breathe from a cold, I can’t help but feel a smidge overwhelmed. When I think of 2015, I am filled with day-before-school excitement. This year is going to be wonderful, hard, messy, busy, exciting, and full of passion and dreams. But my mind also starts rapidly flipping through all the things that would be scribbled on this year’s to-do list: practicum for school, finding childcare for the kids while I do it, Jael turns FIVE, I turn THIRTY, trainings scheduled, Jael starts kindergarten…there are so many beautiful and scary milestones for this year.

I am ready and willing to set my feet and forge forward. But even though determination is the fuel for my feet, my mind and heart go along as hesitant travel companions. They are filled with doubts. They are filled with fears. They are filled with the hesitancies of a person who doesn’t 100% believe in herself. I’ve posted a couple times in the past few days about how I am feeling this way. Many of you echoed the same sentiment, many offered encouragements.

So as I sit here, considering the year, considering all your kind words, and thinking of all you women [and maybe men] out there feeling much like I am…the pull of excitement and drag of fear…I think about how we make a huge mistake when looking forward to the future all the time. Yes, it is good to make plans, budget, and dream. Do all those things in earnest.

But let’s not allow the dreams and hopes of what this year could be corrode the day-to-day that we live now. Let’s press onward for the prize to which we are called, yes. But let us also take each day at a time. Let those goals, hopes, and aspirations fragment into tiny bite-size pieces…you know the saying, “When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time.” We don’t need to take the year as whole and freak out how we’re going to do it all. A book is written page by page. So let each day be the one page you focus on, pick up a pen, and start. xo