Saying No To Good Things

Sanchez Family

Sometimes I have good ideas. Sometimes I have good intentions. And sometimes when those things meet, I have good outcomes. But sometimes good ideas and good intentions don’t live up to what was expected. I’ve tried to upkeep this blog and dag-gummit, I have failed on many levels.

Not posting consistently.

Complaining too much.

Having large gaps of no posts at all.

Not having anything interesting to talk about.

So I’m not here to complain…again. I’m here to chat. About life. About seasons. And about what is most important. You see, blogging and writing are part of me. I love it and will always. But as we go through seasons, sometimes things we love have to take the back seat to things we love greater. My kids. My husband. The Lord.

These past few weeks have been extremely stressful for me. My business picking up. Working with others. Kids. Life.

I thought I could do it all and live to blog about it. But I am here to tell you that sometimes you have to just stop and evaluate. And sometimes that stopping and evaluating has to happen often. I took an opportunity to work with a fellow designer on a part-time basis to help with design and development of online boutique shops. It was fun talking with her about her business dreams and how I would be a part. It truly was exciting. And then life picked up it’s pace. While I was learning that new position and all the details that came with it, my own business picked up speed [with several new bookings all within the week!], my kids started acting out in ways that were new to me, my health started becoming affected due to the stress [not sleeping well at all, headaches, nausea, emotional and irritable, extreme daytime fatigue, etc.], new responsibilities started popping up in our personal life….and as all those things started happening, my brain became full, and my mind started wandering.

I had lack of motivation. I put off work. I put off playing with the kids. I didn’t want to do any of it anymore. Work. Life. None of it. I was tired. Overwhelmed. And over-committed. And when I sat down to pray, the Lord gently whispered a lesson into my heart that I desperately needed to hear.

Just because something is a good opportunity doesn’t mean its the right one.

When I sat down and looked at each area of my life – each thing I was committed to – they are all good things. My friend’s design business and the opportunity to work with her – GOOD THING. My own web design business – GOOD THING. Blogging – GOOD THING. Kids and marriage – GOOD THING. And on and on…I am a dreamer. I LOVE having dream chats with people about their lives, businesses, etc. And when I am in – I am all in. I get excited. I get pumped. And I want to do it all.

But the Lord reminded me that there is a lesson to be learned in discerning my own limits and what opportunities come within the right time. Each of these things are good and wonderful in themselves. But when they’re rolled all together and smashed into my life, they create an atmosphere of overwhelm and stress. Sometimes we think that if something looks good, sounds good, and feels good, that it is what God wants us to do. And believe me, many times He uses those qualifiers to show us the path He wants us on. But I believe that just because soemthing exists to do that is good doesn’t mean that we need to do all the things.

Right now, I have two children three years old and under. I have a web design business that takes up a lot of my time every week. I have a husband that I sorta like hanging out with ;)

And so I must learn what it looks like to filter incoming opportunities to see how they fit into my life. The hard part for me is discerning what things to say no to – because when something looks good and sounds good and I don’t feel a twinge in my heart against it, I am pretty much all for it. I mean, how hard is it to say no to a great opportunity?? Very! But learning what is appropriate for my season of life is imperative.

It makes me a better mom, wife, and business owner when I am not stressed out to the max and going cray-cray. And turning down opportunities helps us to get to know ourselves and what our limits are. And who knows? Maybe saying no to this one thing will open up the time to say yes to that other thing.

Do you struggle with this? Do you get great opportunities and have to turn some down just to keep some semblance of sanity in your day-to-day? Do you find it hard to say no to things that aren’t bad things but that are actually very good [and sometimes God-ordained] things?

Comments

  1. says

    Thanks for sharing this Erin! I feel like I put a lot of pressure on myself to do all these things because I should be able to but then I become so unmotivated and don’t do anything. A huge issue right now! Thanks for being honest!

  2. says

    I completely understand how you feel. I’ve definitely been there before. I tend to agree with the saying: “you can have it all; just not all at the same time”. Blogging may be something that needs to wait or cut back. Maybe only commit to once-a-week posting… I have sensed God leading me to cut back on my blog, too. I tend to try to blog every. single. day. But, now, I’m thinking that three days a week is probably best.

  3. says

    Erin, that’s wisdom! A friend told shared something similar with me when I was in college “You are qualified to take on most any job/position that comes your way but the question you need to ask yourself is: “Is this God’s will for my life? Is this what He wants me to do right now?”- I never forgot that and have carried that with me all these years.

    Just because an opportunity comes my way that I am qualified for, fits my personality etc…. it’s doesn’t always mean that I should jump at it. I know it’s hard to swallow because the world around us says be proactive, make your future happen….but that always has to be tempered with wisdom from God.

    I know God is going to continue to lead you and make clear the “best” things for you and your family. You are sensitive to God’s voice, as is evident from this post that you’ve shared. He will lead you friend!
    I love this verse in Proverbs 16:9 “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.”